The other day a friend and I were hanging out with a rather wild acquantence. He was describing his actvities of the night before. Being drunk, his activities were not the smartest and my friend just casually commented, "Just you wait a couple months from now some chick will be banging on your door wanting child support." His reply, "Oh God that would be a nightmare!" This got me to thinking. Inside I fumed to myself consider what it would like for her. You guys all just think of how bad it would be for you and complain when the girl makes you help with the child. Do you not think at all of what the girl has to go through? You guys are so selfish! Thinking through this I realized yet another major difference between guys and girls. If that scenario were to come true, they guy would be very upset. He would behave like a martyr and be an ass to the girl. He would think she was selfish and clingy and should just raise the kid on her own. This is not just that one guy, but most guys. I've seen it happen time and time again. But has the guy ever considered what it would be like to be in the girl's shoes? He's behaving just as difficultly as she is, but yet she still wants to work things out. The guy writes this off as clingy. But in reality is it clinginess or a mark of a superior species? The girl realizes for the child's sake that there needs to be parents. She also realizes that there is more to a relationship than feelings. All the guy cares about is how he feels and how hard it will be and how much he doesn't like the girl. The girl looks beyond all these facts, for she feels the same way, and tries to make it work anyway. She realizes that there is more to life then just getting her way and lays down everything she has dreamed of to try to make a guy realize the call of nature. Those hot headed guys think they are so much better, but when in reality they will always be the weaker, the ones who cannot stand pain and uncomfortableness and most of all wisdom. They instead think that this superior creature is one to take for granted, bang around, and make fun of. They are still living despite these actions because the woman realizes that the world also needs the men and that anilating them would be worthless.

Middle Ground

When someone asks me if I'm in a relationship, I often have to pause and think for the answer. Sometimes I'll be honest and just say, "I really don't know!" The look on their face is priceless anyway because we expect everything to be black and white. Every girl wants to know exactly where she is. Either the man wants her or he does not. Either it's love or it's hate. They don't want any middle ground. But yet I find myself firmly in the middle ground. In fact I'm very confused about where I am and couldn't even tell myself. Not that I really want to be here. I would love to know if I was in a relationship, if certain people loved me or not, and if I have any hope of a future with the ones I am with. But I don't know the answers so I find myself waiting. And sometimes I wonder in that waiting if I am waiting in vain. If I need to move on. Or if this is actually good for me. I know I'm learning lessons. I'm happy as I am, at least most days. So maybe I'll keep waiting for answers my heart keeps wispering to me that I'll never get. That life will just pass on and so also will those in my life.... And I'm waiting for nothing. But deep down I don't want to be waiting for nothing. Deep down I have dreams of what could come out of this. Of what could be. And then I get the strength to make my dreams come true. This waiting will not be in vain, even if I never get the answers to my questions, I will learn, I will grow, I will know how to make it out better with the next ones

Starting Out

Blogging is all new to me. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. This whole idea came to my head the other day as I was driving home thinking about all the stuff going on in my life. I was thinking about other people, and how it would change my relationship with them if they knew some of the things I really thought and felt. Some of those things I would never tell a soul I knew. I then began to think of a blog I ran across one day of a man who was posting about his struggles with women. Not only was the blog very interesting, but it opened my eyes a little to the way men feel and as I followed the blog, these realizations changed my relationships and my friendships. So I decided to set up a blog. This way I could put my feelings and thoughts into words; let off some steam and also let others see the secrets of a woman's heart. I hope that also I may get feedback and my grow through this experience too... I'm anxious to hear from anyone!!



P.S. I apologize now for all the spelling and grammer errors. You would never tell I'm a college student looking at my writing!!