Middle Ground

When someone asks me if I'm in a relationship, I often have to pause and think for the answer. Sometimes I'll be honest and just say, "I really don't know!" The look on their face is priceless anyway because we expect everything to be black and white. Every girl wants to know exactly where she is. Either the man wants her or he does not. Either it's love or it's hate. They don't want any middle ground. But yet I find myself firmly in the middle ground. In fact I'm very confused about where I am and couldn't even tell myself. Not that I really want to be here. I would love to know if I was in a relationship, if certain people loved me or not, and if I have any hope of a future with the ones I am with. But I don't know the answers so I find myself waiting. And sometimes I wonder in that waiting if I am waiting in vain. If I need to move on. Or if this is actually good for me. I know I'm learning lessons. I'm happy as I am, at least most days. So maybe I'll keep waiting for answers my heart keeps wispering to me that I'll never get. That life will just pass on and so also will those in my life.... And I'm waiting for nothing. But deep down I don't want to be waiting for nothing. Deep down I have dreams of what could come out of this. Of what could be. And then I get the strength to make my dreams come true. This waiting will not be in vain, even if I never get the answers to my questions, I will learn, I will grow, I will know how to make it out better with the next ones

Starting Out

Blogging is all new to me. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. This whole idea came to my head the other day as I was driving home thinking about all the stuff going on in my life. I was thinking about other people, and how it would change my relationship with them if they knew some of the things I really thought and felt. Some of those things I would never tell a soul I knew. I then began to think of a blog I ran across one day of a man who was posting about his struggles with women. Not only was the blog very interesting, but it opened my eyes a little to the way men feel and as I followed the blog, these realizations changed my relationships and my friendships. So I decided to set up a blog. This way I could put my feelings and thoughts into words; let off some steam and also let others see the secrets of a woman's heart. I hope that also I may get feedback and my grow through this experience too... I'm anxious to hear from anyone!!



P.S. I apologize now for all the spelling and grammer errors. You would never tell I'm a college student looking at my writing!!